This week is international Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and it concluded today at 7:00p.m. with an International Wave of Lights Ceremony. Many families around the world participate in this event…including mine. July 11th, 2009 I lost a baby at 22 weeks. This vigil is a way for all families and friends of families that have lost a child to actively remember our lost children. Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything in town today so we made a makeshift paper lantern and lit it at 7:00 in my parents pool. There is however a group in town, The Compassionate Friends that meets the 2nd Tuesday of each month and holds an annual candle ceremony on December 12th.
I also happened to stumble across a photographers volunteer group who provide infant remembrance photos of families and their angels called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Many people may not understand why people would want these images which is understandable, but not everyone grieves the same way and if you are a friend of someone who is in the process of grieving please just be supportive. “Untill you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”. I have a couple of pictures of Gigi that I have framed and in my room, and if I was a better photographer I would definitely volunteer. Maybe someday.
To end with a poem….
What Makes A Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother
And I heard him say…
A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But God can you be a mother
When your baby’s not with you?
Yes you can he replied
With confidence in his voice,
I give many women baby’s
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And other’s for a day.
And some I sent to feel your womb,
But there’s no need to stay.
I just don’t understand this God,
I want my baby here!
He took a breath and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say…
We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear,
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quick
My mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear,
Mommy don’t be sad
I’m your baby, I’m still here.
So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are okay,
Your babies are here in my home,
And this is where they’ll stay.
They’ll wait for you with me,
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They’ll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a mother
It’s the feeling in your heart.
It’s the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Through some on earth may not realize you are a mother
Until their time is done
They’ll be up here with me one day
And know that you’re the best one.
By Jennifer Wasik
Miss Morgan's 365 Photo Project 
Oct 15, 2010 @ 22:19:43
I respect that fact that you and so many others choose to remember. Too many families try and forget. Thankfully, I have never had to experience the loss of a child, born or unborn.
I was a NILMDTS member for almost 2 years here in town. I was amazed at how unaccepting people were of the idea. Even as the only local member (at that time) my services were never called upon.
In some ways I’m thankful, because I know how hard it would be emotionally. But on the other hand, I would have been happy to temporarily stomach those emotions, in order to help a grieving family.
Thanks for sharing!
Oct 15, 2010 @ 22:40:34
That’s great that you volunteer your talent for that! I was never informed of the group or the service that could have been provided. If I would have been I would have definately taken the offer. I choose to remember her and hold her dear. She is a part of me and always will be. I choose to celebrate her!