Change

I read Kim Klassen’s blog a lot and she picks a word every year as her motto. I have never done that before, and to tell you the truth I wasnt going to. While I thought it was a great idea and I loved reading why she choose her word, I figured goals were enough for me this year. That is until I had the urge to do something drastic; like cut my hair! My hair is thick and finally healthy again and down to my waist. I love the color, I love the cut, so why would I want to cut my hair?

Well, my dear cousin pointed out something to me years ago that even I didn’t know about myself. I tend to cut my hair or get a tattoo when something big is going on in my life.  I try to pay more attention now when I start to feel like that.  So I started paying attention today, and came to some conclusions. This year is all about change. Change for the better. I am changing, Sal is changing, and Roman is changing. I couldn’t specifically tell you what I’m changing, because I’m not sure yet. I feel this urge to go do something big. I have always had this driven nature, and I’m not sure where it will take me. I feel that I perform best during high pressure situations and where I have a lot of responsibility. Who’s knows though, maybe I will learn to love low pressure and the slow lane this year. Sal is going back to school and making big moves when it comes to work. Both of which are huge things! And Roman, well Roman is constantly in a state of change. He’s learning more and more every day. He’s growing right in front of my eyes! This year he will be switching from the home day care that he’s been at since he was 3 months old to preschool. With all of the change, it’s that one change of Roman’s that is getting to me the most.

I feel like he’s been there so long they are his family and he is their family. I worry about how he will like school, and if I am making the right decision. His day care provider has taught him a ton, and loved him like his own. I worry about the bond they have and if separating them is the right thing to do. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that I am making the wrong decision, but in the end I know that preschool will be great, and she will always be involved one way or another. After all, she is one of my dearest friends. And when we have another one, I hope she’ll be ready to take crazy Ramirez kid #3!