30 is the new 20…

Oh goodness, I hope not. I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago, and the weeks leading up to that were a little bit of a rollercoaster.  I was happy to be done with my 20’s one minute, the next minute I would feel upset that I wasn’t “young” anymore.  See, I was looking at 30 through a 21 year old’s eyes.  30 was ancient to me. If I was to have a conversation with someone past 30 (and not a good friend) I subconsciously thought of it as unsolicited advice.  And I’m sure many will now see me as giving unsolicited advice.  And guess what….I’m okay with that.

Looking back at the last year, with the help of this little blog, I have realized a couple of things about myself and my life. For example…

#1. I have a crazy busy life! And I loved it that way! Absolutely loved it. In the last couple months I have figured out, that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.  I felt that I needed to prove to myself and maybe one other (if I’m going to be completely honest)person that I could handle the world on my shoulders, and I’ve finally figured out that it’s not worth it.  I have cancelled my plans to continue on to my masters degree and instead am planning on taking the test for my professions certification.

#2. I am constantly searching for something to fulfill me.  Now, I don’t mean like a child, or a family, or a career. I mean something that is purely selfish and self-fulfilling.  I wanted to do something only for myself, that would make me happy. I didn’t care if it made anyone else happy.  I went through a running spree….the next great marathoner I was not! I started a blog…which is hit and miss for me sometimes. I’m walking this line of how much do I share, how much do I keep to myself? Do I keep my real personnality in check or do I just let it all hang out?  I wanted to buy a coffee shop, or open a day care! My most recent adventure in photography finally fit the bill though.  I know because I’ve been obsessed for over a year…that’s a decade in my time. Im not worried about if people will like my personal work, I mean I hope they do, but it’s not my #1 concern. I think I’ve finally found that one thing! Yay!

#3. I have a pretty awesome life. Like everyone I have had some very hard times, that I wouldn’t wish on even my worst enemy, but in between those hard times are great times!  I have been very blessed at work. I had an amazing boss who gave me plenty of good advice and reality checks. I have an awesome little boy who cracks me up at least hourly. He teaches me patience daily, and has pulled me through some of my hardest times in my life. He really is my heart. I have an amazing husband. We have gone through our hard times as any married couple will tell you they have if they are being honest, but were still here! He’s an amazing father. I never have to worry about going on travel for work, because he’s competent. That was very important to me when making my “list”.  I live comfortably. I don’t have to worry about how Im going to find food to put on the table, or how I’m going to clothe my family.

I’m looking forward to my 30’s.  I pictured myself knowing how to handle situations better, how to talk less and listen more, how to not take things so seriously, to rise above things. Basically I think that I’m going to be able to rise above myself and put more effort into the bigger picture.  I want to bring more babies into this world, and become more involved with the March for Dimes. I want to learn how to take better photographs and use off camera flash so that I can become involved with NILMDTS.  I want to build another house where we will stay forever. And I want to be comfortable with the decisions I make, and not look outwards for validation.  The 30’s will be great! Thank you everyone for joining me on this rollercoaster ride!

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