Friends!!!

I posted 6 months ago about a baby girl being brought into this world by my best friend Amanda.  I got the pleasure of finally getting to meet her this past weekend.  Unfortunately her and her family live all the way on the east coast so I don’t get to see them that often. But I must say that she is the best baby ever! We went to the March of Dimes walk and she was great the whole way! We went shopping and she never even peeped. She smiled so much and was so easy to make laugh. We took pictures on Sunday and has so much fun!

The whole weekend wasnt just about baby though, it was about family and friends. And friends being so great they might as well be family.  Amanda is married to Keith, who I refer to as my brother. He is so laid back and chill! Absolutely love him. However…he did buy Roman a Nerf gun, then we had to go buy more, just so we could join in the fun, now I’m finding Nerf darts EVERYWHERE! Ridiculous! Another fabulous friend came Sunday too. He’s not just a friend though he’s Roman’s Godfather. The great thing is that everyone knows each other from our Air Force day’s.

I feel so lucky that they flew all the way from the east coast, then drove an hour and a half the day after they got to my house, to participate in the walk with us. Thanks guys! Love you!

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Shooting for the Moon….

I have a week off from school right now. I’m between terms! Yay!!! So I took a little break from everything today. Sal took Roman over to his parents today, and I was left wondering what to do with myself. It’s not that often that I don’t have something I need to do.  Okay, well there are things I need to do like dust, etc. but who wants to do that!!!! So as I was wandering the house lost….I figured I would try to take a picture of something. I wandered with nothing in mind then went into Romans bedroom. He has a night-light that makes little stars and a moon on the walls. So….this is what I got. I’m signing off for the night!

And….thank you to everyone who donated to the March of Dimes in Gigi’s name!

Vapor Trails and March for Babies

Let me start off by saying that there is a picture of Gigi’s urn at the end of this post, so if that bothers you, you have been warned.

What a beautiful day here in sunny California! I live in Ridgecrest, California, which is home to  Naval Air Warfare Station (NAWS), China Lake.  What you see above is a vapor trail from the fighter jets flying at sunset.  I love when I hear the “green” people talk or post something about how they are chemical trails. Ahhhh….a little investigation leads to a lot of knowledge. 

On another note I have created a team for the March for Babies.  We will all walk on April 30th in Gigi’s name.  I am so excited for this event for the obvious reason, and because my best friend and family will be walking with us.  They currently live in South Carolina and will be here during that time and donated their time and money to walk for team GigiRoman. I am so lucky to have such a great friend. Hopefully some of Sals family and mine can also join us. AND….we have met and beat our goal to raise $200 before the march! In only one day! Thank you to all of our friends and family who have donated. It really is very meaningful that you have helped out a cause that is so near and dear to my heart. The generosity shown today warms my heart.  If you would like to walk with us or donate the link is below.

Giovanna Phoenix Ramirez

I had another session with the amazing Kirk at Sleepy Lagoon today, and Im writting this blog today with mixed emotions.

You see, today was the last session. On one hand I am so happy to be done because Gigi’s Phoenix is complete and here to stay.  On the other hand the sessions were therapeutic to my soul and gave me some closure.  I’m only going to post a few pictures here today, but I will take a better photo and post in about a week when I’m done healing.

This is Kirk…

And finally me looking a hot mess as usual after a session, but in complete love!

A final thank you goes to Tommy Roberts for taking the pictures. Thanks Tommy!

Phoenix Part 2

Today was a special day. Gigi was due a year ago today. To honor not just only her but also the actual date, I had more work done on the Phoenix. Kirk, my amazing tattoo artist, added her name and some reds and purples. I am amazed at how it looks and fall in love with it more and more every day. I am so excited to see her finished, but in some way it’s very therapeutic to have these multiple sessions to be able to physically remember and honor her.

Too Beautiful for Earth

This week is international Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and it concluded today at 7:00p.m. with an International Wave of Lights Ceremony.  Many families around the world participate in this event…including mine. July 11th, 2009 I lost a baby at 22 weeks. This vigil is a way for all families and friends of families that have lost a child to actively remember our lost children. Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything in town today so we made a makeshift paper lantern and lit it at 7:00 in my parents pool. There is however a group in town, The Compassionate Friends that meets the 2nd Tuesday of each month and holds an annual candle ceremony on December 12th.

I also happened to stumble across a photographers volunteer group who provide infant remembrance photos of families and their angels called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Many people may not understand why people would want these images which is understandable, but not everyone grieves the same way and if you are a friend of someone who is in the process of grieving please just be supportive. “Untill you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”. I have a couple of pictures of Gigi that I have framed and in my room, and if I was a better photographer I would definitely volunteer. Maybe someday.

To end with a poem….

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother
And I heard him say…

A mother has a baby,
This we know is true.
But God can you be a mother
When your baby’s not with you?

Yes you can he replied
With confidence in his voice,
I give many women baby’s
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And other’s for a day.
And some I sent to feel your womb,
But there’s no need to stay.

I just don’t understand this God,
I want my baby here!
He took a breath and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say…

We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear,
My mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quick
My mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear,
Mommy don’t be sad
I’m your baby, I’m still here.

So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are okay,
Your babies are here in my home,
And this is where they’ll stay.

They’ll wait for you with me,
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They’ll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a mother
It’s the feeling in your heart.
It’s the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.

Through some on earth may not realize you are a mother
Until their time is done
They’ll be up here with me one day
And know that you’re the best one.

By Jennifer Wasik